Who I Am as a Communicator

When I evaluated myself as a communicator it was at times difficult to decide which answer choice described me because I know what I want everyone to perceive me as, but is that who I am?   I think that for others it was difficult to know what emotions I feel as I communicate.  For example, one of the persons that completed the survey asked me afterwards how was she to know how I felt inside when I was in different situations.  I thought this was a good question, she cannot.  But at the same time they had to answer based on my body gestures and facial expressions at those moments to determine if I appeared anxious on the outside.  This feedback allowed us to see how we are perceived by our peers and friends as communicators.  I was most shocked on how high my score was for verbal aggression from my friend. I hope that I can become more aware of the tone and nature with which I respond to situations in order to be less aggressive with others.  Although my score showed that I was concerned for others and do not attack them personally, that one score was very close to the next level of aggression.

Communication between cultures

Do you find yourself communicating differently with people from different groups and cultures? If yes, in what ways do you communicate differently?

Yes, I do believe that I communicate differently with people from different groups and cultures.  From my own cultural perspective I have been raised to understand that it is acceptable to speak within our own cultural circle in a relaxed language form.  It is not necessary to be “proper” and we are not required to use the correct verbs and word forms when communicating.  However, I was also taught that when I am around the dominant culture, Caucasian population, that I must use proper language in order to gain a place amongst them.  So as I share with my children, you have to know when and how to speak so that you are not viewed as uneducated.  So when I am around members of the white population I have to switch to my proper mode, when I am around Native Americans I feel that I can communicate in my normal/home language, when I am around the Hispanic population I notice that I speak slower and perhaps use easier to understand terms, and when I am around the African American population I feel that I communicate using a mixture of my home language mixed with some proper depending on the situation in which I greet the culture.  I think another issue that determines the way in which I communicate is the environment or situation.  If I am in professional mode I usually maintain my “proper” language and persona.  This may be more or less true depending on the behavior of the audience. 

Three strategies that I could use to be a more effective communicator with other cultures or groups is to continue to seek knowledge about other cultures or groups in order to better grasps the social cues and rituals that would allow me to be better understood in our communication.  I should ask questions about things I do not understand about a culture, their rituals or expectations and listen to their answer, in order to improve communication between myself and these groups.  According to our reading, I should also be prepared to answer the questions about myself and my culture in order to show that I have a vested interest in clearing the way for better communication in the future.  Finally, when dealing with a culture that I am unsure of the expectations, language, or gestures that are acceptable I could create was in known as a “third culture” which is an environment that is created between people of different cultural backgrounds together to provide an environment with predetermined social communication rules for communication.  I feel that when we are professionals this creates a “third culture” in which all educators are free to communicate effectively within because we understand the expectations for effective communication for educators.

Beebe, S. A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond, M. V. (2011). Interpersonal communication: Relating to others (6th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.   Chapter 4, "Interpersonal Communication and Diversity: Adapting to Others" (pp. 85–114)

Silent Television

“Last Man Standing”

Season 1 Episode 5 ABC

     This assignment has been one of my favorite in any class so far.  At first I dreaded the experience.  I have wanted to watch this show, however had not had an opportunity.  So thanks to this assignment I was “forced” to find a show to watch.  Also because I do not have the appropriate technology at my house to record a television program I went online to search out free t.v. episodes.  Thank you “Hulu” for supplying the world with the ability to view free television shows.   This assignment would not have been possible without you.

     It was very easy to see from the silent show that the immediate characters that I meet are a family.  The setting was in their living room and their behavior was that of a family coming together in the evening after the day’s events.  The characters were a mother, father and three daughters.  As the show progressed their behavior toward one another such as making faces, rolling eyes, and other actions demonstrated that the siblings have the usual sibling rivalry and characteristics of the older and younger children. 

     The feeling that I observed from watching the episode silently was that upon the father and youngest daughter entering the room was that there was some conflict that had occurred during or after the girl’s game.  She was dressed in a uniform and had a game bag in her hand which indicated she had just been participating in a sport game.  The father was apparently defending his position to his daughter because of the serious look on his face and his hand motions inferred this.  The daughter appeared frustrated by her facial expression and her huffing and body movements as she stormed up the stairs.  Another conflict seemed to be occurring at the table at breakfast with the middle daughter who was sitting at the table with a computer and paper spread out.  I figured she had an assignment that was due and was not focused on the assignment and her parents were fussing at her about completing it.  I gathered this from the actions and reactions that were taking place in the room and the body movements of the individuals.  At one point the parents broke out in a song, which I determined must have been to mock the child because she rolled her eyes.  The younger daughter walked into the room and made a statement and the parents stopped singing and turned their attention to the younger daughter.   At the father’s work he appeared to be making a sales pitch.  There was a table with men seated looking towards a sales board and others were standing around.  He was holding a bow and talking to the group that smiled and shook their heads as if in agreeance with the comments.  Then a man appeared from a doorway and made a comment that made everyone’s face appear more concerned.  The father walked over and to have a conversation with the man. His expressions and body movement showed that he was concerned by the man’s statement.  A younger man spoke up as if to offer another solution to the problem.  Some of the men nodded in agreement but the majority was making facial expressions that indicated displeasure with his statement.  The father of the show appeared against the younger guy and the older guy appeared to be in the middle.  The next scene showed that there was a vote taking place and all the on lookers were concerned.  The father was in a side office watching a website ad he had done as if to boost his own confidence.  He joined the others in time to learn that the other side had one.  I gathered this by the joyous expression on the young guys face and his actions versus the serious look on the father’s face.  The other men got up and left the room.   I could not determine what the vote was about from the actions. I figured it was about the sales pitch.  The father goes home and his older daughters are at the table working on the assignment. He comments and the girls give him a confused look. He continues to the living room and has a brief discussion with his wife.  He appears to be sharing his concern about what is going on in the kitchen with the girls because his wife goes and peeks at them through a doorway and makes a statement.  They then share words, and his expression and physical actions lead me to believe he is sharing what had taken place at work.  His wife makes a comment and he exits the room.  The next we see is the father relaxing on the couch watching a game and his wife enters the room and starts talking.  She seems to be trying to be supportive as her face is caring.  He sits up and starts talking and then calls for his young daughter.  He has apparently had an idea and the young daughter agrees.  The mother seems unsure as she is shaking her head and then covers her face.  The man takes the daughter to work and they are all dressed in baseball uniforms.  At this point I determine they must have been discussing allowing his daughter to play on the team.  The show ends with the father and daughter returning home with happy looks on their face and hugging between daughter and father and then father and mother.  They move to the kitchen where the middle child walks threw and makes a comment that encourages the parents to go to the computer and read it.  The mother’s face becomes overwhelmed with emotions, the father puts his arm around her and then she rubs his arm.  In the background the middle daughter is looking on as if content. I assumed the daughter had written about her parents.

     When I watched the show with the volume turned on I realized that you can gather a lot from the expressions and reactions of people you are observing because you interpret watch you observe using similar situations that you have experienced.  However, you cannot fully understand what is going on without listening to the conversations that are taking place.  I could gather from the opening scene that there was a conflict with the young daughter that had occurred at her game.  When the volume was on I found out the she was not content with the position she was playing and had failed to communicate this with her coach.  The father asked her had she spoken with him, to which she replied I crossed my arms and then demonstrated the noise she had made.  The father asked, “Was he supposed to know that meant yes?”  I thought this was appropriate for this class, because of our topic of nonverbal communication.  All of the girls in the show told their dad the coach should’ve understood that to mean she wanted to play the position; I would have interpreted to mean she was not content with the decision.  The conflict going on with the middle child was not an assignment, but she was trying to write her essay for her college applications and was finding it difficult to complete.  The older sister was trying to encourage and assist her.  The parents were singing their different college songs to encourage the middle child to choose their schools when the youngest daughter walked in and stated “remember when you told me to speak up for myself? Well I want you both to stop.”  The father was not making a sales pitch, but instead was introducing the item they were going to push for the month.  He then began talking about the baseball tournament that was coming up.  The older guy entered and shared that the ball field had made a decision to only allow co-ed teams to use the field which meant they would have to become co-ed or not play in the tournament. The young guy was excited about the co-ed team and the older guys were not.  I mis-interpreted this part because the conversation was need to know exactly what was occurring here.  In the end the father had also voted to become co-ed which is what the conversation between his wife and youngest daughter was about.  He brought his daughter to be their female player.  In the end, the middle daughter chose to write about how her older sisters courage to stay on track with her life after becoming a teenage mother was the person she looked up to.  Again, the conversation was needed to fully understand this portion of the show completely.

This lesson taught me that although we can gather a lot from watching people’s expressions and body language, it is often important to hear the conversation in order to gain a true understanding of what is occurring.  Equally, we have to be aware of our facial and body gestures when we are conversating so that our message is not misinterpreted.

Competent Communicator

A person that I think demonstrates competent communication is my sister, Victoria.  This year I have had the pleasure of watching her in the professional role.  She is so very calm and well spoken.  Her appearance is calm and reserved.  She is very polite, states her position clearly and effectively, and even in the face of adversity she has a poker face.  These are qualities of a competent communicator, communicates without becoming overly reactive or defensive. 
I hope that one day I will also be able to communicate the same way.  I have already begun to model myself after her; however I think that I need to learn to refrain from reacting or having reactions in conversations.